Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Telling tales out of Speechwriter School: the writer doth gettare un'ombra


"Lord love a duck," as one of my favorite professors used to say.

"Major League Asshole," as one of my former bosses might say.

Both would be right in this case, I'd say.

A soon-to-be-famous ex-Bush Administration staffer (now labeled an untrustworthy and unemployable ex-speechwriter, I suspect) has toddled out across the South Lawn of the White House to hang some dirty jockeys, which apparently grew quite bunched during his short stint putting words in the mouth of a past president.

I chuckle and shake my head every time I hear about another former "Bush Insider" parading around America talking all expert-like about "extensive" experience and lessons learned while serving in the office a U.S. president.

I wrote speeches for Laura Bush in Texas from 1995 through 2000, and I was her White House speechwriter in 2001-2002. Matt Larimer hadn't made his big entrance onto the national stage by then, apparently, because his name doesn't ring a bell. Then again, I don't pay much attention to bells that signal feeding-frenzy time for tasteless, self-righteous piranhas. The bell tolls for them and them alone.

Like any other office in America, the White House has always been (and will always be) staffed by an interesting mix of people who range from one extreme to the other -- from bright to dim; loyal to opportunistic. From decent and hard-working to lazy spawns of Satan. The higher up the career ladder you go, the more pronounced the extremes. The world is full of bad people, frankly, and that's one of the lessons that most of us learn by the time we reach our 30s.

The people whom I've always thought of as heroes and leaders don't run and tattle on the people they perceive as bad guys. They're above all that. The best among us know how to be kind, forthright, self-conscious and willing to admit their own shortcomings. They make mistakes like the rest of us, sure, but they don't blame others for it. And mistakes don't dissuade them from working hard to make the world a better place in spite of the bad people working around and against them.

Wise people and worthy leaders are usually generous with their portions of edification and generally look for ways to celebrate the good in life. They rise above the petty fray and let the bad guys sink their own damn boats. And down there, among the shipwrecked souls, you won't find any legacies and important chapters of history waiting to be written. You'll find gossips, snipes and troglodytes who have nothing better to do than stir the sand and muddy the waters of their own miserable abyss.

Telling tales out of the nation's Number One Speechwriters School might make Latimer feel better about the bitter pills he felt he was forced to swallow, but in doing so, he's also proved himself something of a bitter pill.

The book, a semi-educated "insider" tell-all, betrays a man who is looking for a job with a new administration or a new political party -- a man who is apparently willing to sell his soul, and sell out his friends, for a few bucks and a few minutes of fame along the way.

His book may have a short shelf-life, but his pettiness and self-aggrandizement are set in words of stone, immortal. He's cast a pall across the office of the president and all who work there; he's also done a good bit to undermine the nation's trust of any political leader and further disillusion an already politically weary voting citizenry. Beyond that, he's hurt a lot of good people who were there in the trenches, too.

Tsk. Such a tragic story. And precisely why little boys should not play with matches, especially when they're standing on a bridge.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

A browser's bookshelf: order is in the eye of the beholder


I am a book person. I love books. I browse and admire them. I tote and collect them. I shelve, stack and compulsively rearrange them. My books are not alphabetized or systematized. Dewey Decimal has never seen the likes of my library, nor would he want to, because my brain has a mind of its own when it comes to the kingdom, phylum or classification of words and titles, bound or unbound (a fact that has confounded colleagues and assistants for years).

Most of the time I enjoy hunting for books in their various stores around my house. I always come across a title I'd forgotten, or a book written by a friend, and those encounters evoke in me the kind of smiles, Aha's and memories that others have when they flip through photo albums.

I thought it brilliant that Amazon.com launched a campaign to ask customers "What's on Your Bookshelf?" and I love that one of the featured shelves belonged to two of my favorite people, family members Joel and wife Kathryn (who is a terrific poet and author herself).

I don't know about you, but when I'm in someone else's house, if there's a bookcase nearby I can't resist inspecting it. It's a habit I learned from other readers and writers. Books say so much about people and the things that interest them. How they're arranged does, too. Few would be so bold as to snap a photo of a great row of titles that belong to someone else; after all, book cases are private matters, aren't they? We have standards. Rules of etiquette apply.

Inviting people to show off their books is a novel idea, yes, pun and all....and a splendid diversion for book browsers like me.

I'm a veteran supporter and happy volunteer for the Texas Book Festival, which is one of my favorite fall festivals in Central Texas (and which raises money for Texas public libraries). A respectable smattering of books on my shelves either came from past book festivals or were written by authors who were featured at them.

If you're wondering about the authors, celebrities and musicians who will be reading, paneling, opining and signing at this year's Texas Book Festival October 31-November 1, visit the website: www.TexasBookFestival.org.

I'll let you in on one little secret: The lineup for the Children's Entertainment Tent so far is Tremendous (with a Texas Capitol T), and I can say that with some confidence because I'm helping the festival line them up. Grown-ups will walk away from that experience smiling as big as the kids who brought 'em. We'll have more details on entertainers and the schedule soon.